happening are virtually certain, yet we never plan for it. We plan
as if today will proceed smoothly without any interruptions or
any problems.
We also grossly overestimate our willpower. We underestimate
our need for help as well as our need for structure. In my workshops,
I often ask, “Who among you feels you need to be a better
listener?” People raise their hands. I’ll call on someone and ask,
“How many years have you needed to be a better listener?” And
they will say, for example, ‘Twenty.’”
I’ll say to them, “Repeat after me. My name is Joe. I need to be
a better listener. I’ve not fixed this by myself in 20 years. Who am
I kidding? I’m not going to fix this by myself in the future. I need
help, and that’s okay.”
Once we realize we all need help and structure and get over the
shame associated with this, we’re much more likely to successfully
change.
CD: In Triggers, you say that apologizing is a “magic
move.” Why is that and why don’t more executives and
organizations use this magic move more often?
MG: We all mistakes and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. So,
when I make a mistake, I should stand up and take responsibility,
apologize and ask people to help me move forward. Historically,
leaders desire a “macho” image and are hesitant to do this.
However, if a leader wants everybody else to take responsibility,
the best thing a leader can do is to take responsibility
themselves. Don’t blame other people. If you want everybody
else to take responsibility, let them watch you do it first.
CD: What would you say to executives who might think
that apologizing shows weakness or incompetence?
MG: I would say they’re wrong and I have the data to prove it. In
a research study called “Leadership is a Contact Sport,” I found
that leaders who get feedback, openly talk about what they want
to improve, follow up on a regular basis and get input from their
co-workers and employees are seen as more effective. It’s important
to note that the original study involved 86,000 – and
we are now up to almost a quarter of a million – people who
contributed.
CD: Does this idea apply outside of North America?
MG: There’s no country where this doesn’t work. I have been
to 97 countries, and my coaching process is used around the
world. There’s no level of management for which it doesn’t work
– frontline supervisors all the way up to CEOs.
leadership
LEADERS WHO GET
FEEDBACK, OPENLY TALK
ABOUT WHAT THEY WANT
TO IMPROVE, FOLLOW
UP ON A REGULAR BASIS
AND GET INPUT FROM
THEIR CO-WORKERS AND
EMPLOYEES ARE SEEN
AS MORE EFFECTIVE.
30 ❚ JULY 2017 ❚ HR PROFESSIONAL